I maintain this page mostly for myself. It makes it easier to make the right decisions to get to where I want to be & get myself unstuck.
I also think it's a really interesting way to get to know someone – to read about their values, how they make the choices they do, and what drives them. I encourage you to publish your own (and if you do, and are comfortable sharing, let me know!)
A few lists I've found inspiring:
This is very important for three reasons:
Remember these words of Carl Sagan's auto-tuned voice when you are feeling unhappy & stuck.
There is beauty, joy, and fulfillment out there. You've felt it once before, you can find it again. Your best days are not behind you. Think bigger!
It's out there waiting, if you're not happy with where you are, start moving towards it. Go out and find this beauty & share it.
This is very helpful for decisions involving delayed gratification. How do I stop procrastinating and get up and do the things I know I should do?
Picture how you're going to feel a few hours later: If I feel bad now, binge watching is going to leave me feeling just as bad. If I do the dishes, I'll feel accomplished. This makes it really easy to pick, just do the thing that will make you feel better! Even though the "feeling better" may be far in the future.
This also helps me know when to rest. If I picture the future and I would be OK just relaxing or doing something fun? Then go for it!
This is a particularly helpful tool when "Think about the end" fails. What if even the idea of accomplishing the goals isn't motivating right now?
You need to trust that either (1) you will start to feel better and excited about achieving the goal once you start to see some progress towards or you do get it, which is what usually happens or (2) you really aren't going to feel any better even if the thing is done.
(2) is still a better situation to be in. Perhaps the goal you accomplished gives you more freedom/money that can help you feel better later when you're ready, or maybe it helps someone else.
My tendency to indulge has been a source of misery in my life, either in the form of binge-watching or stress eating. This is often very difficult to escape because it brings a transient and much-needed relief, but leaves me feeling worse than before, so I indulge once more, and so on.
Remember that choosing to indulge often means choosing to feel worse. Self care for me does not mean giving my body whatever it asks for. It means resisting destructive behavior and doing the things that bring lasting fulfillment, like exercise and intermittent fasting.
Scenario: there is a mountain of dishes. It sucks. Everything feels messy. You want to clean it all but you know it's going to take a lot of effort and you can't muster up all that energy right now.
And another day passes.
Consider: do just a few dishes and leave the rest for another time. Just give up on trying to clean everything tonight.
What ends up happening: doing the first few dishes gives you a newfound energy once you start to see progress, and most of the time you'll end up cleaning everything.
Applies to almost any kind of work. Just start.
One problem that has plagued me my entire life getting too excited about a lot of things, overcommitting and underdelivering.
I've done my best work when I chewed off one thing at a time, was completely focused and committed on it until it was done, then moved on to the next time.
I've always been terrified of using consumables in games. I always relied completely on melee attacks regardless of how powerful the items/arrows/spells were. In fact the more useful it is the less likely I was to do anything with it. The idea was if I consistently relied on these finite resources, I'll one day find myself without any and be stuck.
The problem was that this fear of running out meant I ended up never using them at all, which made my experience significantly harder and less fun. If you see opportunities to make your life easier/better, you should sieze them now. Keep moving forward. Trust you'll find more in the future.
Applies to ideas too. Don't worry about using up your "best ideas", you'll get more as you create & put them out there!
I used to trust others a lot. If an expert said something, I trusted it, even if it didn't make complete sense, because, hey, I don't know everything about the world, and they probably know something I don't.
I think this stemmed from a lack of faith in my own abilities. I didn't trust that the conclusions I'd come up with were as valid as others. I accepted that I could see something for myself, and be sure of it, but still be wrong, still be missing something.
If you know something, and you've researched it and have proof of it, then you're probably right. The worst that can happen is someone corrects you if you are indeed missing something. Otherwise, no matter how smarter or how much of an expert they seem, they could very well be wrong.
Another way to think of this is that you are not your ideas. Just because you came up with something that turns out to be dumb doesn't mean you're dumb (similarly, just because you've said smart things in the past, doesn't mean everything you say is trusted to be "smart").
This is important to remember, on one hand so you don't feel shackled by a negative past, and on the other hand, so you don't coast on transient success. It's a freeing thought to keep in mind.
You are not a machine. Trying to power through a bad mood or wallowing in your despair are not good choices.
Go for a bike ride or a swim. Read an inspiring book, talk to someone or play a game. Write down inspiring experiences and refer back to them when you're lacking motivation.